Tuesday, March 1, 2011

There Is a Love Story - How to Care For a Spouse With Cancer

After five years of being sweethearts, Joel and May eventually tie the knot. Their love story would have been a typical event of common lovers, except that May was diagnosed with malignant tumor clinically a diagnosis of Cervical Cancer stage IV. Joel already knew of this disease even before they got married. But he loved her too much to even think twice of marrying her. During their honeymoon, Joel made love to her only once and after that she was hurried to the nearest hospital. The doctor explained to Joel that due to the sensitivity of her disease and her fragile stage he could not continue a physical contact with May. Every day of their married life, Joel kept vigil at her side. He cooked meals, washes their clothes, feed and work at the same time to provide the need of her wife. Every one on Joel's side of family was adamant with his actions. They thought that Joel had lost his mind and will waste years of his life caring and loving a sickly woman who could not reciprocate his needs as a husband. And after ten months of being married and 5 years and 10 months of being together, May took her last breath beside her loving husband. During the funeral mass, Joel expresses his love and happiness during the short period of being married to a woman who now laid to rest.

He told the gathering family and friends at the chapel, "Every one of you may think that I have wasted my 10 months of being with a woman who has no strength to cook dinner for me, or to even iron the clothes I will wear for office. You may have thought also that I'm a person who just gives charity that's why I married her. I have to say, all of these are wrong. And if you are hearing my words now babe, I want to whisper the same words all over again. The words I vowed and promise to you when I ask for your hands. I will care for you, I shall provide all the things you needed and want. I will be the loving husband you expect me to... And I have to say sorry for the last time. I'm sorry because I wasn't able to do all these... I'm sorry because I could not take the pain you are feeling when your cancer strikes... I'm sorry because I could only hold your hands and watch you feel the excruciating pain... I'm sorry because I'm only human and I could not provide longer life for you... And I'm sorry because I love you too much to give you up...

Oftentimes we measure our love for the person through the things or needs that we want reciprocated. We forgot the real meaning of love and the real joy from loving. For ten months of being with the woman he love, Joel did not see the odd situation. He did not intentionally fail to see the difficulty of his situation. What he saw is the feeling of love with a woman who has to go through a physical pain. And what he felt is the joy of giving up his life to be with a woman he loves. In being selfless, Joel discovers the real joy of loving. And he confesses to the people at the chapel that even in death he sees May as beautiful as the day he married her to the same chapel she now laid to rest.

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